Bitches!

I’ve been working at the House now for about 7 months. Initially when I started my friend warned me that there was often bitchiness amongst the women. This didn’t surprise me considering our workplace consisted of strong, dominant women. There is cattiness amongst females at the best of times in any work environment. Put a bunch of strong-willed, determined and often sadistic women into a small space you are bound to get fireworks.

At the start I kept to myself. I was ignored by most of the women, partly because I was new, and partly because some of the women didn’t like my friend, the one who got me the job. I was immediately judged on my association with my friend, and one woman even went out of her way to ignore me because of this.

I was also shy, and looking back could have made more effort to get to know people and prove myself as someone they could trust.

I kept to myself. I never spoke badly about anyone. I only ever confessed my dislike of others to my friend. We had a trust in each other, but really in no one else. I tried to fly under the radar as much as possible, and at the same time be as friendly as possible to everyone. I tried my hardest not to take sides with anyone or any group.

Up until now things have been going pretty well. Then the other day I had small disagreement with one of the receptionists. I felt it was nothing major, something that could easily be rectified amongst adults. Now for whatever reason, my behaviour was referred to the Head Mistress. She contacted me and had a number of issues to discuss, including complaints from other women I worked with. Just when I think everything is fine and that I’m on everyone’s good side, I find out there are women bitching and complaining about me and the way I work. The matter at hand got resolved but what really disturbed me was some of the things people were saying behind my back.

Obviously I had let my guard down too far and some of the women, my colleagues, had taken their opportunity to strike. I would have to be more vigilant, guarded; trust no one.

When you spend all day with a group of people you tend to grow friendly, like any workplace really. What can be forgotten is that we are each other’s competition. The friendships are just an illusion, a facade in place to pass the time between clients. Some people obviously don’t forget that. They will stab you in the back, and the front, and anywhere they can get their claws into you.

Most men are fickle when it comes to Mistresses. They forgo experience for youth, and their sessions can only suffer for it. So the older and more experienced Mistresses get passed over for their younger counterparts. This only serves to make them jealous and bitter. Through no fault of mine I am being attacked merely for my youth, and for the fickleness of men.

I’ve learned my lesson now. No one is truly my friend here. It’s all business and I must remember that.

Milestone

I’ve come to a decision about my dilemma. I’ve decide to keep doing sub, but I won’t be doing full service (sex) or heavy discipline. Master and I talked about it and we both felt a lot more comfortable with these boundaries.

I’ve been off for a week, so no interesting sessions of late.


One funny thing happened in a session a couple of weeks ago. I guess you could call it a milestone of sorts. The client is a fellow who enjoys body fluids and odours. He loves spit, piss, snot, ear wax, smelly armpits and socks. At the beginning of the session he asked me to fart in his face. I told him that I would think about it. Of course inside I was thinking “No way!” How could I think of doing such a thing, I was embarrassed just thinking about it. I haven’t done brown showers yet at work; mostly because I’m too shy to do a shit in front of anyone.

So I continue the session and all of a sudden I need to fart. So I’m trying to figure out if I have the guts to fart in front of this guy. After a couple of seconds thought I just grabbed him by the hair and pushed his face in my ass. I let rip the loudest fart in history, right in this guys face. I think I probably went red as I stalked away from him, away from the scene of the crime. The amazing thing is he followed me. He scampered behind me, sniffing, pushing his face into my ass. Seriously! He sucked up the odour of my fart like it was the sweetest perfume.

I of course had to tell the other Mistresses I had done my first fart on a client. They laughed and congratulated me on my milestone. Not quite ready for a brown shower yet. Maybe one day.

Yearn to please.

He lay on the ground with my boot on his chest. I looked down with a smirk as I brandished the cane. There is something deeply satisfying about being on top, looking down, being in control. I think though my flaw as a Mistress comes from being a sub. I want to please too much to really be in control. Sometimes I let go enough to be selfish, but then all too soon I snap back to reality and yearn to please.

Trampling

I had an encounter with a true slave today. It’s a very rare occurrence. Many men come through our establishment talking about how they want to be slaves, how submissive they are. What they are is bottoms, and to quote another mistress I work with, “We are service tops”. Most clients want this and want that, and that is fine as they are paying for it. But a true slave, although having some desires, finds most joy just following mistress’s orders.

So the slave comes in and requests a trampling session with me. I have done a little of it, but I wasn’t fully prepared for the level of trampling this slave was accustomed to. Over the course of an hour I became educated on how to walk all over this man, and I mean all over. I know enough safety-wise to know what one shouldn’t do to the body. If the slave is lying on their stomach, you can stand on their sacrum and over pretty much all the body, but you must avoid the kidneys. If the slave is on their back, it’s best to avoid the belly and internal organs. Now having said that, all the rules went out the window. I was of course apprehensive, but with some coaxing I managed to gain more confidence and walk all over the slave. I could stand on his stomach with both feet, and he would then pump his stomach so I would rise up and down. I even got confident enough to jump on his stomach, although fairly lightly compared to what he wanted. Another thing that spun me out was standing on this guy’s head. Now all of this was done in bare feet, as that was his preference. Once confident I stood with both feet on his skull, with his head turned to the side. I also used one foot on his neck to cut off his air way.

Even writing this is freaking me out. It really took a lot to be able to do these things I knew could be very dangerous. The interesting part was he was teaching me his limits. During the session I got him to tell me how he got interested in trampling, and so he told me his story.

When he was younger he always loved women’s feet. He finally got up the courage to approach a woman and ask her to walk all over him. Now of course the woman freaked out and called the police, saying he had exposed himself. He was arrested and interrogated without a lawyer for 4 hours. He was young and “stupid” and thought if he confessed it would be better for him. After many years he finally discovered the BDSM scene and found professional mistresses who would walk over him with pleasure. He then found a regular mistress who was extremely sadistic. I would call myself sadistic, but I would never want to really hurt someone. I don’t believe anyone is that worthless that you can treat them however you want. His mistress thought differently. He regaled me with stories of his mistress jumping on him from heights, kicking him in the head to the point of passing out, and on one occasion even breaking his ribs.

Now you see why my gentle jumping was nothing for this guy. But he respected my hesitation and my boundaries. It’s not only the slave that has to trust the mistress but the mistress needs to trust herself. He was quite respectful and I really enjoyed the session, almost looking forward to him coming back.

Oh I almost forgot. The other interesting thing was he told me about his fetish is that he doesn’t enjoy regular sex. He said he’s tried intercourse a few times but has never really enjoyed it. And yet he explained when I was standing on his head he was having an internal orgasm. Quite an amazing, real-life, foot fetish slave.

Dilemma

I’ve been questioning my work choices of late. I’m really enjoying my Mistress sessions, and I’m getting more of those than ever. What I’m not so sure about is doing the submissive sessions. I’m finding I’m not enjoying them as much as I used to, and I almost hope that no one rings and books sessions with my submissive persona. Some of the sessions are ok; it’s just that I don’t know if I want to do them anymore. Of course the money is good, very good. But I never want to be a slave to the money. I feel like the submissive side is who I am at home, and I kind of don’t want to share that at work. I’m not the same at work as I am at home, as in I don’t give myself as much as I do to Master. It’s more like I play a role for the client, and yet I do have to give something of myself. But what bothers me is that it feels like I am sharing Master’s slave with other men, they are getting the privilege that they don’t deserve. They just pay for it. I liked playing the part before, but now I want to save it for my Master.

Then I think about all the other people I work with, most of them do both sub and dom. I think for most of them it supplements their income, and also there is a certain respect gained from doing both. But on the other side none of the other women are submissive to their partners in their personal life. They can come to work and be who they want and it’s not them. Whereas I feel like I’m sharing too much of me. Even though I know it’s my decision, I still get worried how it will look to the rest of the girls and how they will react. Also the owners won’t be happy since I won’t be bringing them as much money.

As you can tell I’m very confused and still have a lot to think about. I’ll keep you posted.